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April 30, 2013
13 notes

Truthful Tuesday

  • I’m somewhat disappointed with myself that I didn’t drive across country when I got laid off.
  • I’m going to visit the VW factory in Chattanooga this month and I couldn’t be more excited.
  • My goal for the summer is to meet up with folks from instagram and go exploring.
  • I’m typing all this on a 10-year old Mac; as much junk as I talk about their products, I have to admit, I’m impressed.
  • I’ve had a zit in my ear for 2 weeks and, according to WebMD, it’s the c-word.

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February 19, 2013
14 notes

TT

  • I’m in a tweet slump. It happens every month or so; I blame my manstrual cycle. During these periods, I instagram a lot; ironically, it’s also when my photos are most on point.
  • I bought new sheets; 800-thread count — because I’m a lady. *curtseys*
  • Last week, I went antiquing then spilt a dinner, if you want to know what it’s like to date the oldest 30-year old on the planet.
  • I wore a long sleeve t-shirt today; it made me extremely self-conscious.
  • Honey Boo Boo is my current guilty pleasure.

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December 18, 2012
18 notes

TT

  • Sunday was my parents’ anniversary; they’ve been married 35 years. A rare feat today, but it gives me hope.
  • I get my haircut at a traditional Italian barbershop. He sings while he cuts my hair and speaks the language; it reminds me of my grandfather.
  • I hate red velvet cake.
  • If instagram is going to sell my pics, then I’m taking them down. I’ve never made a dime off them and neither should they.
  • I imagine death is like the last 3 minutes of The Beatles “I Want You (She’s So Heavy).”

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November 27, 2012
10 notes

Truthies for Toosdies

  • I’m going to see Hall & Oates on my birthday; so stoked.
  • I realized that I’ve become Carlton the door man on Instagram (that’s a Rhoda reference that no one will get because everyone on the internet is 12).
  • 3 days from 30 and I’m finally coming to terms with the demise of my youth.
  • I love driving in the snow.
  • I made myself laugh with this post title. I’m 4.

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November 20, 2012
18 notes

TT

  • At least once a day, I google song lyrics and realize that I’ve been singing them wrong for years.
  • The hotness of the girl in the car next to me is directly proportional to the likelihood that she’ll catch me doing my best DMX bark while I’m getting jiggy wit it at the stop light.
  • I’m addicted to the new tap to tweet shortcut on the iPhone, which explains the plethora of 3-star tweets.
  • I’m going out for Thanksgiving Eve, but I’m afraid I’ll run into an old classmate (repeatedly… with my loins).
  • I struggle with birthdays and holidays because gifts make me feel uncomfortable and selfish.

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Text
November 13, 2012
13 notes

Truthful Tuesday

  • I can’t believe I told you guys the Tupperware story.
  • My follower count has been stuck at my SAT score for months and I fear that this may be the extent of my potential.
  • I don’t think Megan Fox is attractive.
  • I’m terrible at cooking food on the grill.
  • As you can tell from those last 2 facts, I lost my Man Card years ago.

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Text
October 30, 2012
25 notes

Truthful Tuesday

  • I joined MeetUp.com in hopes of meeting new people and trying new things.
  • I refollowed a blog I used to follow and instantly remember why I unfollowed in the first place: TOO MANY EMACIATED WOMEN. Seriously, get these girls a cheeseburger.
  • I need to stop falling for the first girl who pays attention to me.
  • In case we lost power, I restrung my guitar, put a ribbon in my typewriter, and stocked up on Mexican religious candles.
  • I never know what to do with my hands.

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Text
October 16, 2012
11 notes

Truthful Tuesday

  • I’ve been up since 5am because I dreamt I was on Wheel of Fortune. During my introduction, Pat asked what I did for a living and I sat there in silence on national television.
  • I hate Wheel of Fortune.
  • I’ve reached yet another crossroads in my life; I’m not sure how to proceed: go back to school? move away? get a 9 to 5? I feel like I’m treading water.
  • I ate the pizza, cheese and all. Also an ice cream sandwich, because why not at this point.
  • When I’m exhausted, I get super emo. Tonight, I’m exhausted, so…

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Text
September 18, 2012
21 notes

Super Sexy Truths

  • This morning I heard my mom tell my dad, “Cut it out, there’s no time for that.” — I hope to god she meant breakfast.
  • In the past few months that I’ve lived with my parents, I’ve caught them “looking disheveled” on more than one occasion.
  • My living situation has also made it difficult to “relate to myself,” but thankfully not impossible.
  • I ate an entire Hawaiian pizza tonight without Lactaid; I’m about 30 minutes away from Pearl Harboring the toilet.
  • I saw my friend’s lady parts while browsing through her cell phone pics. Does Hallmark sell a “sorry I saw your n00dz, but if it makes you feel any better, you have very nice labia” card?

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September 11, 2012
18 notes

Truthful Tuesday

  • Last night I dreamt I got herpes from a pipe that I bought off of Etsy.
  • I was given a pair of TOMS as a groomsman gift; I’m ashamed to admit that they’re actually pretty comfy.
  • Yesterday I ate the most delicious vegan chocolate chip cookies from Whole Foods.
  • I’m getting my motorcycle license this weekend and plan on restoring a vintage bike over the winter.
  • I worry that these truths make me look like a hipster.

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